If you haven't read the Convenience vs. Love entry, this won't make any sense to you. Go ahead and read it and then come back to this one.
This post will be a work in progress, as I decided when I reviewed the C vs. L post that I missed a few key points. Rather than mess with the original itself, I'm going to post some amendments here. As I think (and get time) to write more, I'll edit this post and add them.
(4/6/10) Amendment #1.) The most important revision that I thought I needed to make was to clarify that I don't necessarily think that a couple has to endure great hardships to have a love relationship. I more meant that a love relationship can endure terrible things and come out all the stronger. The man and the woman won't shrink because something suddenly appears and messes with their blissful relationship.
A good example of this is in one of my favorite movies, A Walk to Remember. If you haven't watched it and plan to, don't continue reading this paragraph now because it will include spoilers. The movie begins as a typical chick flick with the bad boy (Landon) falling for the good girl (Jamie). She doesn't feel exactly the same way, but he fights for her and does cute things until she falls for him, too. The plot is decent, although unoriginal and unspectacular, until she reveals that she has leukemia. The rest of the movie revolves around Landon sticking it out with her and eventually marrying her despite that she likely won't live. He cares for her and doesn't try to take advantage of her or her weakness while she's in such a fragile state. I can't describe how incredibly well it portrays pure, lasting, and self-sacrificing love.
Their relationship began as a typical one but proved to be one of love once the hard times hit. However, until they did, it was hard to tell what kind of love they had. Even though the movie is fiction, it's loosely based on a true story, so such a relationship did exist.
(4/6/10) Amendment #2.) I imagine that some people who read the last post think I might be delusional or have a "marriage will end all life's problems" outlook. I failed to mention that my thoughts are based on what I've already seen in successful relationships from couples around the country, not from a fanciful idea that came from watching one too many corny movies. I haven't seen a very large number of them, but I know they do exist.
Do such couples still disagree on things? Of course. Do they get on each others nerves occasionally? Absolutely. However, the big difference, if I were to pick the most dominant trait besides love, is selflessness. Both people consistently put their spouse's needs above their own and try to make the other's day a bit easier every day. They work as a team and not as independent people working together. They compromise. They forgive. They don't let their pride get in the way of the most important relationship on Earth.
(5/30/10) Amendment #3.) True love matures and develops over time and thus the outward expressions of it change. At first, it can be difficult to differentiate love combined with infatuation from just plain infatuation. The divide becomes more obvious as time goes on. You know those cute old couples that we all see holding hands and caring for their spouse completely after a great many years? Those are the kind of people who most always, I think, truly love each other. Time has proven the veracity of their devotion and care. Some other couples stay together because it's just the thing to do and some others remain so because there's nowhere else for them to go. They end up being in what resembles more a living arrangement than a relationship of continuing (and increasing) love.
The next post I'm about to make inspired this amendment. I can only hope that I'm blessed to love and be loved when I'm much older.
(5/30/10) Amendment #4.) I don't know if this is really an amendment... probably not. More like an afterthought. Even with the changes I've made, it still feels like I'm missing something or not explaining what I'm trying to clearly. I'll keep thinking about it, but if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions, feel free to give them.
This post will be a work in progress, as I decided when I reviewed the C vs. L post that I missed a few key points. Rather than mess with the original itself, I'm going to post some amendments here. As I think (and get time) to write more, I'll edit this post and add them.
(4/6/10) Amendment #1.) The most important revision that I thought I needed to make was to clarify that I don't necessarily think that a couple has to endure great hardships to have a love relationship. I more meant that a love relationship can endure terrible things and come out all the stronger. The man and the woman won't shrink because something suddenly appears and messes with their blissful relationship.
A good example of this is in one of my favorite movies, A Walk to Remember. If you haven't watched it and plan to, don't continue reading this paragraph now because it will include spoilers. The movie begins as a typical chick flick with the bad boy (Landon) falling for the good girl (Jamie). She doesn't feel exactly the same way, but he fights for her and does cute things until she falls for him, too. The plot is decent, although unoriginal and unspectacular, until she reveals that she has leukemia. The rest of the movie revolves around Landon sticking it out with her and eventually marrying her despite that she likely won't live. He cares for her and doesn't try to take advantage of her or her weakness while she's in such a fragile state. I can't describe how incredibly well it portrays pure, lasting, and self-sacrificing love.
Their relationship began as a typical one but proved to be one of love once the hard times hit. However, until they did, it was hard to tell what kind of love they had. Even though the movie is fiction, it's loosely based on a true story, so such a relationship did exist.
(4/6/10) Amendment #2.) I imagine that some people who read the last post think I might be delusional or have a "marriage will end all life's problems" outlook. I failed to mention that my thoughts are based on what I've already seen in successful relationships from couples around the country, not from a fanciful idea that came from watching one too many corny movies. I haven't seen a very large number of them, but I know they do exist.
Do such couples still disagree on things? Of course. Do they get on each others nerves occasionally? Absolutely. However, the big difference, if I were to pick the most dominant trait besides love, is selflessness. Both people consistently put their spouse's needs above their own and try to make the other's day a bit easier every day. They work as a team and not as independent people working together. They compromise. They forgive. They don't let their pride get in the way of the most important relationship on Earth.
(5/30/10) Amendment #3.) True love matures and develops over time and thus the outward expressions of it change. At first, it can be difficult to differentiate love combined with infatuation from just plain infatuation. The divide becomes more obvious as time goes on. You know those cute old couples that we all see holding hands and caring for their spouse completely after a great many years? Those are the kind of people who most always, I think, truly love each other. Time has proven the veracity of their devotion and care. Some other couples stay together because it's just the thing to do and some others remain so because there's nowhere else for them to go. They end up being in what resembles more a living arrangement than a relationship of continuing (and increasing) love.
The next post I'm about to make inspired this amendment. I can only hope that I'm blessed to love and be loved when I'm much older.
(5/30/10) Amendment #4.) I don't know if this is really an amendment... probably not. More like an afterthought. Even with the changes I've made, it still feels like I'm missing something or not explaining what I'm trying to clearly. I'll keep thinking about it, but if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions, feel free to give them.
