I experienced something recently that made me think. I was talking to someone I'd never really met before in a getting-to-know-you sort of way. As we talked about what our interests were and different aspects of our lives (occupation, personal future goals, etc.), I found that I was learning things about myself by talking about myself. While summarizing my life with the other person, I started to see some of the things I wanted in life differently than I had before.
I'm not referring to the foremost goals, dreams, and desires I have. Those haven't changed and I don't anticipate them changing anytime soon. I'm talking more along the lines of things like what I'd do professionally or what I'd like to do or to experience if life's circumstances were ideal (i.e. all monetary needs met, time to spare, other responsibilities put on hold or removed, etc.). I also found it interesting to realize in the same way that some lesser personal goals weren't as important to me as I thought they were.
The idea that struck me is that when we talk to someone who is completely outside the influence of the happenings of our lives, we usually will give our honest opinion about whatever we are talking about to that person. If I had a problem with something at work, I might not tell another coworker my complete thoughts because it might get back to the wrong person and have negative consequences. However, I wouldn't have a problem telling my best friend who hasn't ever even seen where I work. I wouldn't be worried about repercussions from someone that shouldn't know finding out.
Most of the time I already know what I think about something before I tell someone about it. However, it's sometimes informative to note how I express my opinions when I don't have to worry about repercussions coming from what I say. This is most telling when it comes to other people. I can almost always tell how I feel about a person by telling someone completely unrelated to that person of my thoughts on him/her. Sometimes I learn that I have a great deal more respect and admiration for the person than I thought I did, even when I already admired him/her. Other times I've thought I had better feelings toward someone than I find that I actually do. Sometimes I go to vent and, in the process, come to discover that I understand the individual more than I realized and am much more forgiving because of it.
I wonder why it sometimes takes talking to someone else to learn what I already should know. After all, it was always in my own head to begin with.
I'm not referring to the foremost goals, dreams, and desires I have. Those haven't changed and I don't anticipate them changing anytime soon. I'm talking more along the lines of things like what I'd do professionally or what I'd like to do or to experience if life's circumstances were ideal (i.e. all monetary needs met, time to spare, other responsibilities put on hold or removed, etc.). I also found it interesting to realize in the same way that some lesser personal goals weren't as important to me as I thought they were.
The idea that struck me is that when we talk to someone who is completely outside the influence of the happenings of our lives, we usually will give our honest opinion about whatever we are talking about to that person. If I had a problem with something at work, I might not tell another coworker my complete thoughts because it might get back to the wrong person and have negative consequences. However, I wouldn't have a problem telling my best friend who hasn't ever even seen where I work. I wouldn't be worried about repercussions from someone that shouldn't know finding out.
Most of the time I already know what I think about something before I tell someone about it. However, it's sometimes informative to note how I express my opinions when I don't have to worry about repercussions coming from what I say. This is most telling when it comes to other people. I can almost always tell how I feel about a person by telling someone completely unrelated to that person of my thoughts on him/her. Sometimes I learn that I have a great deal more respect and admiration for the person than I thought I did, even when I already admired him/her. Other times I've thought I had better feelings toward someone than I find that I actually do. Sometimes I go to vent and, in the process, come to discover that I understand the individual more than I realized and am much more forgiving because of it.
I wonder why it sometimes takes talking to someone else to learn what I already should know. After all, it was always in my own head to begin with.
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